eituze

Story bout’ Un-devoted Ways

Posted on: February 13, 2008

not juz one.. there’s a SIX stories bout’ un-devoted ways..
don’t make this straight as ur example..😉

The 1st Affair

A married man was having an affair
With his secretary.
One day they went to her place
And made love all afternoon.
Exhausted, they fell asleep
And woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed
And told his lover to take his shoes
Outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.
‘Where have you been?’ his wife demanded.
‘I can’t lie to you,’ he replied,
‘I’m having an affair with my secretary.
We had sex all afternoon.’
She looked down at his shoes and said:
‘You lying bastard!
You’ve been playing golf!’

The 2nd Affair

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters
but always talked about having a son.
They decided to try one last time
For the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant
And delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery
To see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child
He had ever seen.
He told his wife: ‘There’s no way I can
Be the father of this baby.
Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!
Have you been fooling around behind my back?’
The wife smiled sweetly and replied:
‘Not this time!’

The 3rd Affair

A mortician was working late one night.
He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz,
About to be cremated,
And made a startling discovery.
Schwartz had the largest private part
He had ever seen!
‘I’m sorry Mr. Schwartz,’ the mortician
Commented, ‘I can’t allow you to be cremated
With such an impressive private part.
It must be saved for posterity.’
So, he removed it,
Stuffed it into his briefcase,
And took it home
‘I have something to show
You won’t believe,’ he said to his wife,
Opening his briefcase.
‘My God!’ the wife exclaimed,
‘Schwartz is dead!’

The 4th Affair

A woman was in bed with her lover
When she heard her husband
Opening the front door.
‘Hurry,’ she said, ‘stand in the corner.’
She rubbed baby oil all over him,
Then dusted him with talcum powder.
‘Don’t move until I tell you,’
She said, ‘pretend you’re a statue.’
‘What’s this?’ the husband inquired
As he entered the room.
‘Oh it’s a statue,’ she replied,
‘the Smiths bought one and I liked it
So I got one for us, too.’
No more was said,
Not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up,
Went to the kitchen and returned
With a sandwich and a beer.
‘Here,’ he said to the statue, have this.
I stood like that for two days at the Smiths
And nobody offered me a damned thing.’

The 5th Affair

A man walked into a cafe,
Went to the bar and ordered a beer.
‘Certainly, Sir, that’ll be one cent.’
‘One Cent?’ the man exclaimed.
He glanced at the menu and asked:
‘How much for a nice juicy steak
And a bottle of wine?’
‘A nickel,’ the barman replied.
‘A nickel?’ exclaimed the man.
‘Where’s the guy who owns this place?’
The bartender replied:
‘Upstairs, with my wife.’
The man asked: ‘What’s he doing upstairs
With your wife?’
The bartender replied:
‘The same thing I’m doing
To his business down here.’

The 6th Affair

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly:
‘I have something I must confess.’
‘There’s no need to, ‘his wife replied.
‘No,’ he insisted,
‘I want to die in peace.
I slept with your sister, your best friend,
Her best friend, and your mother!’
‘I know,’ she replied,
‘now just rest and let the poison work.’

1 Response to "Story bout’ Un-devoted Ways"

hi!
wat a great story.:mrgreen:

nz : thx…😉

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eituze is..

a humble note of an ordinary girls who believe that everything must have a beginning and the end justifies the means..


it's all bout' what I saw, what I heard, and what I knew bout' the truth... and it's all out there..

here's the story.. ...enjoy ur self...



XOXO,

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Quote’s Of The Day

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~African Proverb

Visitor’s

Song Of The Day

No Air
Jordin Spark feat Chris Brown

Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air? 

[Jordin] 
If I should die before I wake 
It's cause you took my breath away 
Losing you is like living in a world with no air, oh 

[Chris] 
I’m here alone, didn’t wanna leave 
My heart won’t move, it’s incomplete 
Wish there was a way that I can make you understand 

[Jordin] 
But how 
Do you expect me, to live alone with just me? 
‘Cause my world revolves around you 
It’s so hard for me to breathe 

[Chorus-Both] 
Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air? 
Can’t live, can’t breathe with no air 
That’s how I feel whenever you ain’t there 
There’s no air, no air 
Got me out here in the water so deep 
Tell me how you gon be without me? 
If you ain’t here, I just can’t breathe 
There’s no air, no air 
No air air, No air air 
No air air, No air air 

[Chris] 
I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew, 
Right off the ground to flow to you 
There’s no gravity to hold me down, for real 

[Jordin] 
But somehow I’m still alive inside 
You took my breath but I survived 
I don’t know how but I don’t even care 

[Both] 
So how do you expect me, to live alone with just me? 
‘Cause my world revolves around you 
It’s so hard for me to breathe 

[Chorus-Both] 
Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air? 
Can’t live, can’t breathe with no air 
That’s how I feel whenever you ain’t there 
There’s no air, no air 
Got me out here in the water so deep 
Tell me how you gon be without me? 
If you ain’t here I just can’t breathe 
There’s no air, no air 
No air air, No air air 
No air air, No air air 

No more 

No air 

Baby 

There's no air, no air 

Hey, oOoOo 

Oooooooooooooh 

[Chorus-Both] 
Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air? 
Can’t live, can’t breathe with no air 
That’s how I feel whenever you ain’t there 
There’s no air, no air 
Got me out here in the water so deep 
Tell me how you gon be without me? 
If you ain’t here I just can’t breathe 
There’s no air, no air 
[Jordin] 
(Do you expect me, to live alone with just me 
Cause my world revolves around you, It's so hard for me to breathe) 

[Both] 
Tell me how I'm supposed to breath with no air? 
Can't live, can't breathe with no air 
That's how I feel whenever you ain't there 
There's no air, no air 

[Outro-Both] 
Got me out here in the water so deep 

Tell me how you gonna be without me? 

If you ain’t here I just can’t breathe 

There’s no air, no air 
No air air, No air air 
No air air, 

No air  




Song lyricsNo Air lyrics
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